Last week was hard. Like I had multiple melt downs hard. Had one of those weeks?.
Long story short: Lily would not sleep in her bed longer than 1 hour, had to be rocked back to sleep {VERY opposite of her at the old place, lay her down she would be out in a minute and with out a peep AND sleep for at least 9 hrs straight}, was teething, had a cold, adopted new 2 year old attitudes (hitting, mine, no) and was hyper clingy.
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bottom line: With a clingy/tired/prematurely acting 2 year old crying all day, the house still not un-packed, pregnant, hot, knowing another one is only months away and sleep deprived I was a wreck. Literally.
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I would rock her and I would cry with her, I would get so upset over the stupidest things, I would beg Chad to not to go to his class (he even came home early from work once). Just. Couldn't. Take. It.
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I had been praying the whole time, begging Heavenly Father to let her sleep through the night, or to eat her food, or for me to just calm down. I went a few days feeling ignored by God, cause nothing was changing. Then on Friday morning after a few hours of sleep, I decided to actually listen. I listened and the answer I felt was: calm down, this is only a stage, who cares if she sleeps with you for a few weeks? She is only this little for so little time, enjoy it. And like a light switch the anal/annoyed/emotional wreck was turned off and the Rachel I enjoy being was back.
I had been praying the whole time, begging Heavenly Father to let her sleep through the night, or to eat her food, or for me to just calm down. I went a few days feeling ignored by God, cause nothing was changing. Then on Friday morning after a few hours of sleep, I decided to actually listen. I listened and the answer I felt was: calm down, this is only a stage, who cares if she sleeps with you for a few weeks? She is only this little for so little time, enjoy it. And like a light switch the anal/annoyed/emotional wreck was turned off and the Rachel I enjoy being was back.
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Now we take naps together....and at about 2 am every morning she joins us in bed. The house is still messy. We watch Cars more than once a day. But we are both happy. The past few days have been heavenly, I see my daughter in a whole new light, I am almost excited for her to wake up at night so I can hold her and rock her back to sleep. I rest my cheek against her head and smell her yummy smell and hum while she drifts off. She and I+Eden are almost too big to fit in the rocking chair now {sad}. I really love being a mom, being laid back, not caring what others think or what your baby is "supposed to be doing", and actually listening to our hearts and our heavenly parent is key, I think.
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So bring on the teething! Bring on the sass! Bring on the sleep deprivation! And bring on another baby!
4 comments:
I'm sorry you've had a hard week but it's good to hear that there are other mommy's going through the same thing.
I hope you have a better week! By the way I thought the same thing when I saw the pregnancy boob picture, tell Chad to enjoy them now while you've got em!!
April
Sorry you had a crappy week! Glad to hear that you're feeling better....I swear they know when you are stressed or tired and try that much harder to push your buttons, so all you can do is learn to enjoy it! Glad to hear you figured that out before you had two....I definitely didn't figure it out until I had two!
I've had many melt downs like that. I no sooner think Olivia is on a good track of sleeping and such and then she decides to not sleep for two days! I have noticed they feed off your energy, so once I just chilled out, she chilled out. It's so reassuring to know that other mommy's face the same things that I do! Thank you for sharing.
I know what you mean. Ethan fell and hit his mouth at the park last week. So bloody! I looked like a deranged serial killer covered in blood coming out of the park bathroom after cleaning him up. I kept my cool, drove home, gave him some Tylenol and put him to bed. Then had one of those uncontrollable sobbing fits on the living room floor.
I love your faith and inner strength. And I love the blog. Keep it up!
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