Wednesday, October 17, 2012

on being married.

Chad and I are coming up on 7 years of marriage this December 28th. SEVEN years, that's a full on second grader, guys. Crazy!

My friend said the other day: "don't you wish you could go back to the newly wed years? Just brand new married?"

I just laughed, and in my mind I said: "HELL. NO."

The fact is, the first handful of years of being married were some of the hardest times in my life.  We prided ourselves for being great communicators...but we weren't. We loved that we were great listeners...but we weren't. I remember writing in my journal: "I love being married!"...but then looking at those words, they were empty words written with hope and blue ball point pen. The fact is, I didn't love being married. I felt so lost, and alone. I was told a million times never to talk to your parents or family about marriage problems, basically not to talk to anyone about your marriage issues, that it is damaging. But then, who do I talk to? We would talk to each other and get no where. If we had been able to afford it, we would have gone to marriage counseling, but we couldn't, so we didn't.
 I actually wanted to throw in the towel a few times, but each time I entertained the thought, a deep, strong feeling that everything would be ok, and to be patient, would over run that. I trusted that feeling, through the tears, I followed that feeling, and would remember the undeniable confirmation we had both received that we were meant to be married, to each other.

We met, and a few blinks later we were engaged, I was two months shy of 20 when we got married, 19! Like, still a teenager, I had only been braces-free for 4 years. Chad was 21. BABIES. Both of us. 
I have no doubt in my mind weather we made the right choice or not when getting married. We both had felt very, undoubtable spiritual promptings that we indeed were making the right choice, that we should get married. We were the imperfect match, it still amazes me how Chad actually got me to go on a date with him. BUT. The Lord knew who we could become together, he knew our potential. He knew that we could have a bond and love so strong it would beat time and last eternity.

So over the past (almost!) seven years, we have learned patience like no other, we have learned to forgive and to really forget. We have learned that we really, really love each other, and we have caught glimpses of what the Lord sees in us, we see the potential to become even better than we are today.

I am so, beyond words grateful I followed that feeling to stick with it. To work things out. I am so glad Chad did too. I look at our marriage now, where it once was shaky, now it is solid. I am so proud of us. I am so proud of what we have gone through together, of who we have become as individuals and as a companionship.

I love you Chad, more than words can say.

*pictures from Maggie's birth 


Janell said...

Sometimes I wish blogs had a 'like' button, cause I like this very much. :) Thank you for reminding people how important... and hard... and overwhelmingly fulfilling marriage can be. Love you sis, and your husband and sweet little girlies!

Rachelle said...

true words right there.

kelly and i had it rough the first year and then around year 4 after we moved to cali and before we had our babes. funny, huh? never thought i would want to throw in the towel either. but we both kind of did.

and now, after 10 years of marriage we both say that we are happier than ever. it just keeps getting better. all of it. i'm soooo glad i met him when i was 19 and married him then. so glad we went through our 20's together no matter how hard some of those years may have been.

love this post friend.

April said...

I agree with janelle, I wish there was a like button... I would push it! I thought your words were very sweet and true. Thanks for sharing!

Celeste said...

I wish that there was a "hug" button. Because I would like to hug your faces off right now. Congrats (well almost) and many happy returns. You guys rock. I still say you two should come on our anniversary trip with us, I mean, ours are only two days apart!

Daniel and Belinda said...

It's weird to think that our neighbor was going through the exact same struggles at the same time, and we never new it. 'Like'

Daniel and Belinda said...

Oh, and I never told you this before, but these pictures just reminded me that it was your story of Maggie's birth that inspired my natural delivery. So thank you!

Southern Belle said...

I think all newlyweds need to read this! Marriage definitely isn't as easy as it seems it would be, and too many throw in the towel too quickly!

Megan Marie said...

i am so glad we had no idea how hard some of this stuff was going to be because i don't think we would have been brave enough.

so glad we're all young and stupid at first. so glad heavenly father gives us the stamp of approval so we can always look to that when we meet doubts. so glad for good marriages built with love and crowned with loyalty.

you guys are so cool.

Louise said...

Awesome, everything you said is so true. I don't just like this post I love it.