Chad and I are coming up on 7 years of marriage this December 28th. SEVEN years, that's a full on second grader, guys. Crazy!
My friend said the other day: "don't you wish you could go back to the newly wed years? Just brand new married?"
I just laughed, and in my mind I said: "HELL. NO."
The fact is, the first handful of years of being married were some of the hardest times in my life. We prided ourselves for being great communicators...but we weren't. We loved that we were great listeners...but we weren't. I remember writing in my journal: "I love being married!"...but then looking at those words, they were empty words written with hope and blue ball point pen. The fact is, I didn't love being married. I felt so lost, and alone. I was told a million times never to talk to your parents or family about marriage problems, basically not to talk to anyone about your marriage issues, that it is damaging. But then, who do I talk to? We would talk to each other and get no where. If we had been able to afford it, we would have gone to marriage counseling, but we couldn't, so we didn't.
I actually wanted to throw in the towel a few times, but each time I entertained the thought, a deep, strong feeling that everything would be ok, and to be patient, would over run that. I trusted that feeling, through the tears, I followed that feeling, and would remember the undeniable confirmation we had both received that we were meant to be married, to each other.
We met, and a few blinks later we were engaged, I was two months shy of 20 when we got married, 19! Like, still a teenager, I had only been braces-free for 4 years. Chad was 21. BABIES. Both of us.
I have no doubt in my mind weather we made the right choice or not when getting married. We both had felt very, undoubtable spiritual promptings that we indeed were making the right choice, that we should get married. We were the imperfect match, it still amazes me how Chad actually got me to go on a date with him. BUT. The Lord knew who we could become together, he knew our potential. He knew that we could have a bond and love so strong it would beat time and last eternity.
So over the past (almost!) seven years, we have learned patience like no other, we have learned to forgive and to really forget. We have learned that we really, really love each other, and we have caught glimpses of what the Lord sees in us, we see the potential to become even better than we are today.
I am so, beyond words grateful I followed that feeling to stick with it. To work things out. I am so glad Chad did too. I look at our marriage now, where it once was shaky, now it is solid. I am so proud of us. I am so proud of what we have gone through together, of who we have become as individuals and as a companionship.
I love you Chad, more than words can say.
*pictures from Maggie's birth