Lately when my mind has time to wander, I often think of things that I want to make/do/get.
I really don't like it. I do not like carrying that negative energy, focusing on things that I lack. Just bad.
I have never been like this, well at least to this extent. I have a list a mile long of projects I want to do, and stuff to buy for our house, for things I wanna sew....
And the things aren't like big extravagant things either. Like maybe a new bike that actually has gears for Chad...cause we only have one car and he rides his bike about 30 miles a day, and his is slowly getting worn out. For kitchen chairs that don't scratch us when we sit down cause they are very old and some screws stick out (literally have to warn people when they sit on them:) ) For material to make my sisters adorable baby things, for a plane ticket to fly my sister out when she gets home from her mission in January, for Lily to be in preschool this year (I'm homeschooling this year... more on that later) really this list goes on. And On. And I really feel like the stuff on the list, they are not crazy things to ask for, most of them are needs really.
Chad and I talked about it last night. Is this what happens when people settle down? When they finally find a place they know they are going to be for a few years, and things are a little more constant, is this what happens? Do you just start wanting more stuff? I thought to myself, half joking: "if that's so, then lets never settle!".
But then, I look at my hand. At my $8.00 feather wedding ring (which I actually totally love).
I used to have a very pretty ring with a few precious stones, made with white gold, and it made a real dent in Chad's wallet when he proposed.
Well, one time when times were really hard for us, like, real hard. We needed money, not to to buy new chairs, but to buy food. So I went to the pawn shop, and sold my precious ring for a fraction of it's worth. So we could buy food. And to make it more pathetic, we would buy flour and yeast so Chad could make a lot of bread, he was adamant that he would eat only bread so that Lily, Eden and I could have the meats, fruits and veggies.
I look at my finger and am reminded how truly good we have it. We have seen much harder times. We have our own home, we have plenty of healthy food, we are all healthy with plenty of clothes on our back. We have SO much. I feel bad for forgetting that every once and a while.
So, here's to being more grateful!
7 comments:
Know what? I struggle with Pinterest for that reason. And, strangely, my job when it relates to marketing and retail customers. All of the ways companies and people vy for attention (and money)??? It really overwhelms me sometimes.
I'm trying to put a few personal boundaries around how and when I surround myself with consumerism because otherwise it gets a little nutso.
Love that ring, btw. reminds me of an article I just read this morning about "dressing for yourself": http://corporette.com/2011/08/16/the-power-of-dressing-for-yourself/ When you wear something that has a bit of a secret (e.g., your husband mended the button that shirt, you got that fabulous purse for $4 at a swap meet, those earrings are your grandmother's, you were wearing that skirt when xyz happened)... it's a cool feeling for that ring to serve more meaning than just "proof you're married" huh?
Thanks for that! And thanks for being my cyber friend!
Thank you for sharing that personal experience with us (nearly) perfect strangers. We teach our kids that having the "wants" is bad, but don't practice what we preach a lot of times. I love the way you see things :)
I think your head and wants will settle down, just give yourself time!! You just bought a house that's yours for the first time ever - its COMPLETELY normal to want to make it your own for you and your family, even if it's not crazy extravagant. Everyone needs to carve out a home. But most importantly you really JUST had a baby, and are coming out of that funk. I identified with you so much about just surviving for the first six months right after baby is born. I just can't create like I want to - I'm sure your mind is just catching up from the fog of adjusting to life from a little one, and is completely on overdrive. It's overwhelming I know, but focus on the ones that are important (probably those chairs - three meals a day, ouch) and once you do some things on your list, and a few months time, it should slow (well probably after the baby is one, and the holidays - first Christmas in your new home!) just breathe, make little do able lists and bask when one is accomplished - you're right life is good and it could be worse, way worse.
Thank you for this post. It is very hard sometimes to remember the blessings and forget the wants and needs. Like you said, the things you want are not extravagant or indulgent, they are needs. It is just good to remember the blessings we already have too.
This post and story is something to be cherished, thanks for sharing.
i like you everso. be patient, i hardly think you are a gimmegimme type person, and you are very unlikely to become so. I feel very blessed to know you, my dear.
Wow, this post really hit home to me. Thank you.
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