Lately when my mind has time to wander, I often think of things that I want to make/do/get.
I really don't like it. I do not like carrying that negative energy, focusing on things that I lack. Just bad.
I have never been like this, well at least to this extent. I have a list a mile long of projects I want to do, and stuff to buy for our house, for things I wanna sew....
And the things aren't like big extravagant things either. Like maybe a new bike that actually has gears for Chad...cause we only have one car and he rides his bike about 30 miles a day, and his is slowly getting worn out. For kitchen chairs that don't scratch us when we sit down cause they are very old and some screws stick out (literally have to warn people when they sit on them:) ) For material to make my sisters adorable baby things, for a plane ticket to fly my sister out when she gets home from her mission in January, for Lily to be in preschool this year (I'm homeschooling this year... more on that later) really this list goes on. And On. And I really feel like the stuff on the list, they are not crazy things to ask for, most of them are needs really.
Chad and I talked about it last night. Is this what happens when people settle down? When they finally find a place they know they are going to be for a few years, and things are a little more constant, is this what happens? Do you just start wanting more stuff? I thought to myself, half joking: "if that's so, then lets never settle!".
But then, I look at my hand. At my $8.00 feather wedding ring (which I actually totally love).
I used to have a very pretty ring with a few precious stones, made with white gold, and it made a real dent in Chad's wallet when he proposed.
Well, one time when times were really hard for us, like, real hard. We needed money, not to to buy new chairs, but to buy food. So I went to the pawn shop, and sold my precious ring for a fraction of it's worth. So we could buy food. And to make it more pathetic, we would buy flour and yeast so Chad could make a lot of bread, he was adamant that he would eat only bread so that Lily, Eden and I could have the meats, fruits and veggies.
I look at my finger and am reminded how truly good we have it. We have seen much harder times. We have our own home, we have plenty of healthy food, we are all healthy with plenty of clothes on our back. We have SO much. I feel bad for forgetting that every once and a while.
So, here's to being more grateful!