Thursday was the day I learned what it feels like to miscarry.
I had only known I was pregnant for about a week and was trying to wrap my head around that. Getting excited, making lists of names (we just knew it was a boy), day dreaming about how I would re-arrange the bedrooms to fit precious #4 in to our home.
And then, I went to the bathroom, and there was no question that it was spotting. I was having a miscarriage.
I was so blessed that Chad was home, and that my sister was here, too. So much love and support right here in my home. But even then, miscarriage is a lonely road.
I am still processing. I am always trying to figure out the next step, or figure out why something is happening. Which in this case, it pointless and exhausting. I am trying really hard to just let myself feel what I need to feel and be patient with myself and situation. The cramping has almost stopped, but I am still feeling like I got hit by a bus, just so tired. Once again, I am so blessed, I have so many friends here willing to help.
Right now as I look at this picture I took a week ago makes me tear up. How fast life can change.