So I have never been a person who thinks every dream means something. I think a lot of time its just a subconscious regurgitation of whatever happened in the day. But recently, I have had really vivid dreams. Two in particular I remember perfectly. One was about a week or so ago, which I may share later down the road.
Then last night. I dreamt Chad and I were driving to an oncologist to hear what my prognosis was. I had cancer and we were visiting the doctor to see how bad it was, and how long I had.
If you know anything about my past, my mom and dad DID do that, the doctors gave her three months, and she lived about three years.
I was crying in my dream, not that I was scared to die, I know where I go and what I will be doing after death, I was crying because I wanted more time with my sweet husband and kids, I started wishing I had worried less about student loans, my weight, what other people think, all that dumb crap and just had lived it up with my husband and kids.
I woke up a little startled, it was real close to home for me, I mean, I lived through that, well, I was the child and my mom felt those emotions but I really have been there.
But this dream, I think, was a reminder.
A reminder to me of what I need to really be focusing on.
I'm not perfect, and some days I will stress over stupid things but from now on, I really am going to focus on living more fully. Caring about what matters, and dropping what doesn't.