Wednesday, January 26, 2011

dreams

So I have never been a person who thinks every dream means something. I think a lot of time its just a subconscious regurgitation of whatever happened in the day. But recently, I have had really vivid dreams. Two in particular I remember perfectly. One was about a week or so ago, which I may share later down the road.
Then last night. I dreamt Chad and I were driving to an oncologist to hear what my prognosis was. I had cancer and we were visiting the doctor to see how bad it was, and how long I had.
If you know anything about my past, my mom and dad DID do that, the doctors gave her three months, and she lived about three years.
I was crying in my dream, not that I was scared to die, I know where I go and what I will be doing after death,  I was crying because I wanted more time with my sweet husband and kids, I started wishing I had worried less about student loans, my weight, what other people think, all that dumb crap and just had lived it up with my husband and kids.
I woke up a little startled, it was real close to home for me, I mean, I lived through that, well, I was the child and my mom felt those emotions but I really have been there.
But this dream, I think, was a reminder. 
A reminder to me of what I need to really be focusing on. 
I'm not perfect, and some days I will stress over stupid things but from now on, I really am going to focus on living more fully. Caring about what matters, and dropping what doesn't.

9 comments:

Brittany said...

I am in full blown tears. No joke.

Jessica Kettle said...

amen sister.

i love this- i've been feeling this way myself lately. time to cut the excess out and focus on the positive and the important.

HandsomeRob said...

Thanks for sharing, we all need to remember that. I wish I was like you and had meaningful dreams. I never remember what my dreams are about...maybe I don't have any?!!

Megan Marie said...

Last night I was reading a scripture in Acts 2 that talked about spiritual dreams as gifts of the holy ghost. I went to sleep with a prayer that I would have a dream like that and it didn't work out last night, but reading this reminds me that those things come when we need them most and expect them the least. I love you.

Southern Belle said...

That sounds like a nightmare! I think you will have many many many more years with your sweet husband and kids. That is a good reminder though to focus on the positive.

Toyke said...

Live each day to it's fullest. You won't always get there, but trying is what counts. Live each day as if it were your last, kids and spouses will test you and so will the daily mundane duties.
We see a very small part of your life and just from that we know your mom and your god would be proud of you. We are

Toyke said...

Live each day to it's fullest. You won't always get there, but trying is what counts. Live each day as if it were your last, kids and spouses will test you and so will the daily mundane duties.
We see a very small part of your life and just from that we know your mom and your god would be proud of you. We are

Toyke said...

Live each day to it's fullest. You won't always get there, but trying is what counts. Live each day as if it were your last, kids and spouses will test you and so will the daily mundane duties.
We see a very small part of your life and just from that we know your mom and your god would be proud of you. We are

HS @ Our Debt Blog said...

That was touching, omg.. makes me appreciate thing more this morning.. time is a precious commodity.

HS