loser

***precurser: this is a blog post about weight, this will be the first and last time I mention this...cause i hate when people talk about being "fat". This is for documentation sake.***

January, two years ago I was frustrated with my body, and me, I was chubby, and didnt like it.

I got a invite to join a biggest loser competition, I thought about it and signed up.

I never thought that I was super competitive, I mean, I have played soccer my whole life, and I would play hard but I knew it was just a game. I never cried over a loss, or not making it to the finals at state like some of my team mates.

But. I guess I am competitive, cause I lost 25 lbs the few months I was in the competition. I was winning, actually!....but then had to drop out the last few weeks cause I found out I was pregs with Magnolia, and in that disqualified you. I still felt like a winner though, cause I was down back to my high school size.

Well, I am back feeling like I did two years ago. Frustrated with myself for having motivation that waxes and wanes. I feel good, but still am not where I want to be. I want to have the increase in energy and ability to just run for miles and fit back into my favorite jeans.

I saw this at the gym this morning.

I called, and signed up.

My game face is on.

I am in it to win it, and I mean business.

Mamma needs some new skinny jeans.

Watch. Out.