"clarity"

If this week had a theme, it would be: CLARITY. 

(warning: very long post)

I already told you about my journey this past month to figure out what I really want my next goal to be: to be a midwife.

Another huge thing going on is my health. I have been feeling "off" for....well basically a long time, since before I got pregnant with Maggie? She's almost 18 months now, so for a long time.

I attributed it first to pregnancy, then nursing, then gluten. All of which were partially true. But not the WHOLE truth. I still was left feeling crummy. Joint pain, thin flaky nails, anxiety/depression, "fuzzy" head-not being able to focus well, occasional rash, constant subtle head aches...the list really is a mile long.  A mile long list of subtle, annoying symptoms. My body has been basically screaming at me that something is "off" but I didn't understand it's communication. I have gotten so frustrated, and to the point of: "well this is my new "normal"." mind set.

About three weeks ago I started a sugar cleanse, if you follow me on instagram then you have seen some of the stuff I have been making (pretty yummy!) It was hard the first few days, and then I felt great!....and then not so great. Like, the headaches were back...and just nausea. and other stuff that I first thought was my addiciton to sugar wearing off. But I felt in my heart that it was more.

I was up at 4 AM yesterday with Maggie I thought: I need to learn more about candida.

I read for a couple hours and wow, I was preeeetty I had figured out, that was my problem!

A thought popped into my head: "Talk to Aimee about candida."

I called up Aimee, (shes one of my sweet friends that is way into essential oils and natural health stuff...) She told me that she was teaching a class on it that night! (last night!) So I went. HOLY CRAP I am poster child for candida. Did you know candida can cause gluten allergies??? If you don't know what candida is it is the yeast that naturally lives in our guts, but can over grow when fed too much sugar (= grains, fruit, dairy, vinegars...) I had so many symptoms! I highly recommend looking it up, its baffleing what it causes. I left the meeting kind of disgusted, but also full of hope! I had figured it out!

I went home, talked to chad about it, showed him all my notes about candida, and then I asked for a priesthood blessing.  In the blessing, I was told that I had done a good job at researching about answers for my health, but that there was more. I needed to use my knowledge from my education (I have my BS in health science, associates in paramedicine) and dig deeper. After the blessing I was so confused, what else could it be?! I blatantly have excess candida in my body. But the Lord wanted me to research more.

This morning, I put Maggie down for a nap and immediately knelt down and prayed, for a sharp mind and open heart. That I would remember things I learned years ago, and be lead in the right direction. 

I opened up my lap top and started reading, and reading and reading.  Something that I do know is zinc is very important for nail health...and my nails are crap now, pretty worthless thin, I started there. I searched that, what causes zinc deficiencies...in some cases, excess copper does. LIGHT BULB. I currently have a copper IUD in (tmi? sorry folks). I then researched copper toxicity and the correlation with candida. THEY GO HAND IN HAND. As I read more about copper toxicity, the more and more it made sense. There can be strange side effects from copper toxicity, like violent thoughts?? Well, the past year I feel like I have to be on my guard all the time because bad scenes from a movie will pop into my head or other bad thoughts will with no reason, mind you, I have not a violent bone in my body. And this was very disturbing to me. There is a mirad more of symptoms that go with copper toxicity, some of them are very similar to candida. 

HOLY CRAP I CAN'T TYPE FAST ENOUGH.

AND THIS IS GETTING REALLY LONG.

Bottom line, the more and more I read the more and more it made sense. 

I started thinking of my family's medical history.

I strongly believe I genetically more prone all of this stuff. At times like these I really with my mom was alive so I could talk to her more about it. The sad thing is, she had multiple of symptoms gluten issues, of excess candida, and possibly copper too, which all of those things definitely have strong correlations to cancer.

I really feel like I am being lead by Heavenly Father, I know He wants me to be as healthy as possible and is guiding me to answers. 

Just the idea of hope, that I will feel "whole" again, brings tears to my eyes. 

God is so good.
I have been given "clarity".

If you read the whole thing, gold star!