Tuesday, February 23, 2016

this week

Like I stated before, I don't plan on trying to catch up on two years away form blogging. SO much has happened. A lot to do with me actually? A little over two years ago I was on a slow, gradual, bumpy decline into severe depression. The decline was slow until all a sudden it wasn't and I wanted to end my life. I plan on sharing my journey back to health over time, in no particular order.

Today, I'll start with this week.

...Actually, I guess to start with this week, I need to do a quick update-- mid December we bought an 110 year old farm house in Centerton (right down the road from friends that are pretty much family). We are LITERALLY re-doing everything in and out of the house. Anyways the PLAN was to do all the demo and have it painted and somewhat pretty before we move in....Well we got a full price offer on our home we were currently living in in less than two weeks....so we had to move out, and in to the Old Girl (that's what we affectionately call the farmhouse) way sooner than planned. Read: Blessing/Curse. I found I actually LOVE doing demo, learning to be pretty confident with power tools and such. We were so freaking busy it was awesome and I was loving every minute.

|front of the Old Girl|
Then about a month ago Chad's parents (who were here helping) left and working on the house slowed, and the dust figuratively and literally settled. I felt myself slowly go from happy+energetic to slowly apathetic to slowly sad in the course of about a month.

|back of the Old Girl, the day we signed|
I was checking all my boxes off: not stretching myself thin with commitments, eating healthy, sleeping, spiritually feeding myself daily with actual studying the scriptures...yada yada yada. I went for a long walk and just talked to God. What else was I supposed to do? I don't want to live a life of apathy/sadness most of the time and sometimes happy. That's when I heard the little whisper to bring my blog back to life. To write and share the good and bad, and connect with people again (let alone document this whole remodel!). Writing, documenting my life has beautiful way of helping me really think my thoughts through, and also to naturally find the positive in situations.

So here we are!

Documenting and sharing also blesses me because I get to look back and read, and remember.

I read THIS post and boom. Another answer to my prayer. I started thinking about being a midwife and how it really checks so many of my boxes:  Health care professional, my own boss, serve, work with and empower women, spiritual, kinda hippy, the job is different every day....I mean my list goes on.

You know when something feels right you smile so much your face might break, your heart beats faster and everything is beautiful again? Well that happened. I heard another whisper: This is the right track.

So, I call my midwife and long story short I have an interview in a week about being an apprentice. Wish me luck!

side note- Today is my last day of my 20's! I've been looking forward to my 30's for a long time. I think its going to be MY decade.


Teresa said...

So glad that you're back, and so happy that you're finding your way! Love the reasons you gave for wanting to be a midwife, especially the one about it being a little hippy. My fingers are crossed for you. Can't wait to see more posts about your remodel. Hope you have a wonderful birthday, and a fantastic new decade!

Celeste said...

Hey! I love this, I love your words. Isn't it funny how God teaches us to hear him in such a personal way, he TRULY knows us and what will help us the most in our eternal progression. Love your guts! 😘

Hayley said...

you are back! welcome - blogging has changed and so have we, but I love that you are here and I am here and I get to hear your thoughts more. yes!

Alicia said...

I'm so glad you are reviving the blog. It was always my favorite and I felt your absence over the last 2 years even know we don't even know each other. I can't wait to hear about the new house and how the kids are doing - they're all getting so big! I am expecting girl #3 myself, so I feel a kind of kinship towards you.

Meagan Isaksen said...

Love that you want to be a midwife! How's the interview go!?? I want to hear all about it :)